PLURAL

 

Plural. It is nothing but a mere word of grammar. But for me it is a symbol of Cruelty. It won’t spare me in moments of pleasure or grieve, always reminding me of the loneliness I carry. It marks me with a feeling of contempt, for I have failed to procure someone for my fable, my story. I resent the use of plural, it hadn’t left me since my teens because world doesn’t expect you to have an incomplete bit. Judging eyes follow me wherever I go because they got the answer as a NO. While all my friends went out to eat with their “parents”, I ate with my “parent” and just like that I am a lost entity not an individual but an untended liability. People. It’s always the people labelling the exceptions of order set by them as something unkempt, something not normal. Cancer doesn’t understand the substantiality of “plural” it takes with it what it wants plural or not. Time made me accustomed to the gap that I’ll always have to live with in my life but people, they are there to remind me every second of my time that I am incomplete. These people I keep speaking of are not just the actual gossip around me it’s the engravement set in my mind, there are voices in my head louder than any noise around me, telling me that I am living as a pretend. There are not enough moments I feel, I am numb now that I am labelled as spare parts, missing what I actually am, deflecting the cause, pretending to be fine. Realizing the fact that there is a disregard for the beauty of individuality, my mind has been molded into the same idea. I am a recluse in the crowd of set norms labeling names to person of exception “incomplete” “lonely” “sketchy” “not whole”. Now I have become one with the ones living conviction of “plural”.  Looking for a witness who would record me in the memories, the daily events of my life, is present in the moments of sorrow and is filled with glee for my achievements. I am still the individualist for I have learnt the sense of independence the hard way but there is no denying the fact that “plural” has now become a part of my ethics I am now compelled to practice. I am leaning towards that concept carrying that same emptiness in my heart with a detestation towards set rules, to establish a proof of my existence in the memory of my “plural”.